Responsibility of Siblings

I read a post from a year ago from someone who wondered about what would happen to their Down syndrome child after their deaths. Many of the replies voiced concerns over burdening their other children with the responsibility of caring for the disabled child. I know each situation is different but let me say I think they do their other children a disservice by not expecting them to be responsible adults someday. My parents had no such concerns. We knew that someday George would be our responsibility and before I married I made sure my husband knew that it was possible that George would be living with us someday. As it turned out, we have been married 30 years and due to my parents’ sudden illnesses and deaths, George has lived with us for 29 years. Have there been challenges, yes, but there have also been great rewards for my husband and I and my children and my nieces and nephews who have Uncle George visit and go on vacation with them. I always feel guilty when people want to say how great it was that we took on the burden of caring for my brother because I know I got the better end of the deal. Every young mother should have a George to watch the kids while mom takes a shower, or a George to snitch on the babysitter who had a boyfriend visit while we were gone. Every working mom should have a George who tells when the kids let into the house another kid just "for a few minutes". When George goes on vacation with my brother or sister and their families, we miss George and our family feels incomplete. George is 47 now and in perfect health. I too have begun to worry about what will happen to George if I were to die. My husband has asked that George stay with him rather than have to relocate to my brother's or sister's. They have agreed as long as he can still come for visits. My children understand that it is their responsibility to do all that they can to ensure George's well-being and comfort. George shared all he had with them when they were little and they need to be the kind of adults who can be there for him if he needs them. They also know they should pick spouses who can accept this as a part of life. It's a great test for picking a spouse! I think expecting your children to be there for their brothers and sisters is not unreasonable, its life. I do not mean to suggest that co-habitation is the only or the best solution for everyone because I know it isn't. But expecting your children to be a part of the process of figuring out what's best and being the "parent" once the parents are no longer capable of doing it is not a burden but a responsibility of adulthood.